As the Gregorian calendar year comes to an end, I find myself using this time to do a mid -year reflection on where I am in my path of life. As a person of Persian descent- and one who has recently developed a love for extended long walks with my golden retriever-  I find it very difficult to think of January 1 as the first of a new year, when I turn my gaze up to the trees and still do not see blossoms appearing. Therefore, I take this point of the calendar year to assess where I am in my work life and my life in general. 

As an educator, I encourage my students to start every academic year with some goals in mind and to make sure that they are goals that are achievable, relatable, measurable and timely. I emphasize being specific and surrounding themselves with peers, family and mentors that inspire them to reflect and seek feedback when needed. Over the years, I have come to learn that as someone who has always aspired to do more, to go further and achieve goals, I have overlooked the importance of stopping, reflecting and perhaps repositioning what doesn’t feel right. 

I wasn’t always an avid reader, and still don’t consider myself as one when I think about all the small moments I waste being on social media or not doing things I could be doing, like reading. That said, I have set some reading goals for myself, to read a certain amount of books in a variety of genres to take me to places that I normally wouldn’t go. Funny thing is, this journey of reading has taught me a lot about who I am and who I am not. 

I am learning that my intrinsic need to be a passionate educator has left me to be a very vulnerable human being, yearning to leave positive impacts on those whose paths I cross.  I recently started reading a famous book written by the one and only, bell hooks, a person who is showing me that my interpretation of love has been wrong this entire time. While I strive to care, nurture and give unconditionally to those around me in the name of love, it has not always been received as such. Hooks shares that it wasn’t until she read the book, The Road Less Traveled again and again, did she finally come to define love – and how that helped her face the places in her life where love was lacking. 

As I read these words, I found myself struck like a bucket of cold water. I was suddenly hit with the idea that to understand love, “ as a will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth, “ one must let go of the learned patterns of behavior that negate our capacity to give and receive love. 

So by now if you are still reading this, you must be wondering how did I go from setting yearly goals to defining love? What’s love got to do with it? As Tina Turner would say. Well, you see, if one is not taught from the start to search for the meaning of love, then it is very hard to see the bigger picture in life. For me, love was always about giving all of oneself no matter at what cost to those around you. It was about doing what was expected of me, without my insights or whether this was something that was taking away from me. There was no question at what cost. 

Growing up with this idea and soon becoming a people pleaser, I found that this idea of love and being endlessly and physically present was not only providing love to my loved ones, but it was in fact harming them and most importantly, myself. You see we often define love as giving, whether it is in the form of gifts, attention and our time. But have you ever wondered or question, how can I truly feel love without justice?  

Now you may be asking, why are we discussing justice?  Well, when we think about ourselves in life and learning, we need to stop and what I like to call recalibrate ourselves and reflect on the why behind this learning journey. 

Everyone should be asking themselves why do we go to school?  Why do we spend so much time learning?  Why do we dedicate endless hours absorbing information that often feels disconnected from our daily lives?  These are questions our children, youth and even young adults are asking more and more these days?  While the responsibility of educating children arose from the colonies between the individual family and the larger community, the post-revolution mindset saw the need for developing the “ common school” – drawing upon Enlightenment ideas, Thomas Jefferson called for the creation of elementary schools across the Americas ( Lee, Leighton, 2023). “ In Jefferson’s view, these publicly supported and managed schools would provide the citizenry with the basic literacy and numeracy skills seen as necessary for the development of the nation as a whole.”  ( Lee, Leighton, 2023) While this idea was lofty and needed during that time, we must now question the fact that how has our learning spaces or environments progressed since the 1800’s?  

As I’ve been reflecting, I”ve come to see that justice and love are deeply connected.  Justice is the foundation that allows love to truly exist.  Without fairness, boundaries, and equity, love can become an exhausting process of giving – one that leaves us depleted.  In my personal and professional life, this realization is becoming transformative.  

In 1838, Horice Mann founded The Common School Journal, targeting issues surrounding public education in the US fighting for education to be equal, paid by the states and accessible to all. All efforts catalyzing universal public education with continued attention towards the standardization of structured curriculum and away from the single schoolmarm. This move away from traditional to a divided age-based grades, which distinct course of study for each subject, neglected to see the need for a more connected form of understanding of the “why,” “where” and “how” aspect of learning.  

You see, in teaching, love must take the form of justice.  It’s about creating spaces where students feel valued, where their voices are heard, and where they know they belong.  Learning should not be boxed into categories for students to learn in isolation, but rather a space where learning sets boundaries – something I wasn’t taught to do growing up.  I’ve learned that when I set boundaries for myself and with my students, I’m not taking away from love; I’m strengthening it.  Justice makes love sustainable.  

Reading authors like bell hooks has deepened this understanding for me.  Her words remind me that love is not just about giving but about nurturing growth- both for myself and for others.  Her reflection on love and justice have become a guide as I work to create learning spaces where students feel empowered to ask questions, co construct learning to find meaning, to see the bigger picture, and to connect their learning to their lives and give meaning.  

So as I continue this journey of learning and teaching, I am reminded that love, at its core, must include justice.  It must nurture, not drain; uplift, not overwhelm.  And perhaps this is the greatest lesson I’ve learned this year: that to love fully, in life and in teaching, I must embrace justice – for my students, for my community and most importantly for myself.